I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
