whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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