he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
hell yes lets make some ravioli
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
The chlamydia really affected his face.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Randomize
