the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
