I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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