5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
