Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
