did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Randomize
