oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
