i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
