No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
