oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Randomize
