i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
