Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
