5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
