No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
