I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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