im having a threesome with these popsicles
do herpes really smell.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize