Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
