She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize