Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
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