it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
dude. I can hear the air.
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