Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Randomize
