Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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