i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Sex in the backyard? Check.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize