drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
He called his prostate his "boner button".
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
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