hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
