Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
How naked do you want me to be?
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
