you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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