there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
