so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
