I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
It's like God shit irony all over that family
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
