If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
It's never too late to be topless.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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