do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
