she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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