i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
