he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
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