Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
