I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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