Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize