We won't sleep together?
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize