Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
