No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Randomize
