how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
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