Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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