Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
