Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
