Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
