her vagina looked like bernie madoff
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize