Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with youâ€
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