fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize