Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
