sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
