no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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