My nipple is on Facebook.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
