we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
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