so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Randomize