i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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