It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
