i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize