You really coming over, don't trick.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Randomize
