I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
