Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
