No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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